you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize