he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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