feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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