But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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