I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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