Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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