You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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