So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
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Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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