I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
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You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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