If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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