You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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