A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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