I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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