I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize