She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
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I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
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I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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