Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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