your parents love me but you hate me
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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