I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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