we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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