Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize