then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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