I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize