foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We got so high we made milksteak
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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