i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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