I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
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Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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