dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize