I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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