I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So squirting runs in the family.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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