thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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