based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize