He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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