Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize