I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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