i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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