he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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