You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize