I think scott just propositioned me for sex
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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