he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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