Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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