Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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