the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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