I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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