I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My bed smells like the plague
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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