Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize