She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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