It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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