I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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