I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize