So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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