I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize